Returning to the Source

I have often wondered, what gives some people such a sense of purpose with their lives while others, like me, are clueless as to what our life’s purpose is?  What makes certain individuals smile even in the face of great adversity? What drives some human beings to be more caring and loving towards others? Why is it that some individuals have a greater capacity to forgive than others? Why do some individuals seem to glow?

I found my answer to these questions and more recently, while taking a class on the Holy Spirit. It became apparent to me that the Holy Spirit, who lives within us, is the reason some people are able to behave in a manner such as those described above.

To paraphrase something that the instructor of this class stated, we humans are like lamps in that we have great potential to illuminate a world filled with such darkness. However, a lamp cannot shine its brightest without the highest wattage bulb and a connection to a power source. Furthermore, it must be connected to the right power source because without the right power source its light will surely fade.

For those individuals described above, their power source is the Holy Spirit, who has dwelled in them since our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ gave His life for our sins.   Those individuals live their lives through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. However, similar to the fading brightness of a lamp is the fading presence of the Holy Spirit within us.

The reason the Holy Spirit’s fades within us is because we ignore Him in favor of our own understanding/will.  However, if we choose to lean not unto our own understanding and seek the guidance of the Holy Spirit (reading the bible, prayer, fellowship etc) our wisdom and knowledge will increase making us like the highest watt bulb and as stated before the highest wattage bulb connected to the right power source will surely shine the brightest.

This realization has prompted me to return to the source. For I believe, I was placed on this earth to do God’s will, and in order for me to do God’s will I have to seek His guidance in all that I do. It is my prayer that through doing this He will work through me to illuminate even the darkest corners of the earth and I pray that He does the same for you. 

Toast to Caleb and Samanta

               

Good Evening Family and Friends of Caleb and Samanta,

I would like to request that you all fill your glasses with your beverage of choice at this point and join me at the end of my speech in a toast to Caleb and Samanta.

With that said…

                For those of you who do not know me, my name is Ricardo Rhone and I am the best man and friend of Caleb for 7 years. I would first like to thank you Caleb for the honor of being your best man, for it is an honor indeed. I would like to thank the parents of Caleb and Samanta as well as everyone who had a hand in making this a momentous and memorable occasion, for this wonderful couple.  To the wedding party and the rest of the guests thank you for partaking in this special occasion.

While I have never been married, I would like to start by offering the newlyweds some advice on what it takes to make a marriage successful. Now some of you may be wondering what makes me qualified to give the newlyweds advice on how to make a marriage successful, having stated that I have never been married. Well! the basis of my advice comes from the lessons I have learned from my past relationships, the advice I have received from some of the older, excuse me, “some of the more mature” individuals in my life, and from my observations of the relations of others. 

·         First, effective communication is a key ingredient for a successful marriage – for example many couples fight over their spouse’s failure to take out the garbage simply because they did not effectively communicate. To demonstrate let’s examine the following situation.  Sam! You come home from work to find the garbage in less than desirable state, so what do you do? You walk over to Caleb and ask Honey can you to take out the garbage please? To which Caleb naturally responds yes dear, snukkums, honey dew melon drops I will take out the garbage for I love you that much, hmm! Then you come home from work the next day to find the garbage in slightly worst shape. So begin to feel disappointed in Caleb…but Woww Sam!!…  Don’t be disappointed in Caleb instead take this time to reflect, ask yourself did you clearly express to Caleb your expectations of him?

 In doing so you will come to the realization that you didn’t for you merely asked Caleb if he could take out the garbage to which he responded yes dear, snukkums, honey dew melon drops I will take out the garbage for I love you that much, hmm! You did not specify that you wanted the garbage taken out that very same day. For Caleb fully intended to take the garbage out, two days later, for in Caleb’s mind, an engineer’s mind, the capacity of the garbage CAN is here! The contents that lie within are here! There is about a 10% differential between the capacity of the garbage CAN and the contents that lie within, so Caleb figure he had about another two days in which he could dispose of garbage within said container. So Sam, Caleb, the lesson here is whenever you end a conversation, ensure! that you are both walking away with the same understanding.  

·         Second sacrifice is vital to the success of a marriage – So Caleb you are watching the game and it’s the bottom of the 4^TH, 2mins left in the game, in which the Patriots and Colts are tied and Brady is driving down field.  However, it just so happens that the season finale of Bridezilla, one of Sam’s favorite shows, has just started and Sam has been anxiously waiting all day to watch it. Now you can see Sam approaching from the corner of your eye. I know what you are tempted to do, probably half the men in this room would be tempted to do the same thing, and that is to turn up the TV volume to very max so as to pretend not to hear her.

But don’t you do it Caleb...Instead turn to Sam and look deep into her eyes and say dear, snukkums, honey dew melon drops, it is the bottom of the 4^th, 2mins left in the game, the score is tied, it’s the Pats and the Colts, and Brady is driving down field but honey I will forgo the remainder of the game so that you may watch your show, for I love you that much, hmm! Caleb, Sam will forever remember this great sacrifice you have made and tell all her girlfriends of the time you gave up watching the Pats and Colts at the bottom of the 4^th, 2mins left in the game, in which the score was tied, and Brady was driving down field and allowed her to watch Bridezilla. She will be envied by all her girlfriends for having such a considerate husband…. However, Caleb what Sam does not know and doesn’t need to know is that you had set the Tivo hours in advance to record the remainder of the game in anticipation of her request.  So Sam, Caleb, the lesson here is that at times you may have to sacrifice your own happiness for the happiness of your spouse but in the end you will both benefit.

With all jokes aside, I would like to say a few words about my friend Caleb and his bride Samanta. It is not often that you find someone the same age as you that you admire. But Caleb is one of these people in my eyes. He has grown exponentially from first meeting him the summer of 2003. Caleb is a very driven individual with tremendous faith in the lord.  He is not opposed to dedicating the time and energy required to be successful in all facets of life. He is a very passionate, focused, generous, responsible individual. And he has found in Sam a wife that is all these things and more. In the time I have known Sam she has proven to be a very Kind, gentle and caring person and is always joy to be around. She is very supportive of Caleb’s dreams and aspirations, as he is of her dreams and aspirations, and together they make perfect match.

Sam it goes without saying that you found a great man in Caleb one that will honor, respect and cherish you the way you deserve. And Caleb you have found a wife in Sam that will honor, respect and cherish you the way you deserve.

The most noteworthy advice I can give you both is one that a mutual friend of ours, who is actually here today, gave me several years back and that I have grown to see the significance in and that is to uphold a relationship based on Love for God is Love and Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful; it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things; believes all things; hopes all things; and endures all things.  

Would everyone please raise your glasses and repeat after me…To Caleb and Samanta, I wish you, everlasting Love. Thank you! 

The Deepest Urge in Human Nature

The problem

Have you ever found yourself to be envious of another? I know I certainly have on many occasions. I often find myself in envy of others for a multitude of reasons, including but not limited to, their financial prowess, their material possessions, their position on the job, their upbringing, their knowledge of different subject matters, their character, their personality, their seemingly great selection in friends and the list goes on….

The realization and the decision to change

Envy: the resentful or unhappy feeling of wanting somebody else's success, good fortune, qualities, or possessions. What was wrong with the success that I had attained throughout the years, the good fortunate that I had experienced, the qualities that I possessed, and my material possessions? There must have been something wrong, as I was consistently envious of others. I needed to change as this behavior was not representative of the “ultimate” me.

I decided that each time I became envious of someone I would seek out the reason for my envy. Why do I envy this person’s personality? Why do envy this person professional and financial success? Why do I envy this persons knowledge on that particular subject?... I came to the realization that the root of my envy lied in my desire to be seen as one of the most, if not the most, important person in whatever position/situation I found myself…very smug, unrealistic and downright ravenous, I know! But nevertheless this was the root of my envy each and every time. I always wanted to be the center of attention. It should be all about me, me, me.

I recently read that the deepest urge in human nature is the desire to be important (loved). I must say that this reigned true with me. I envied others because myself and others looked at them in awe and with admiration for certain qualities/status they possessed. Qualities/status I didn’t believe I possessed myself. So I began wishing I possessed the things they possessed so others would look at me in awe and in envy, giving me that greater feeling of importance. This approach led me to obtain possessions, knowledge, and participate in activities that made me appear important in the eyes of others. This eventually proved to be quite physically and emotional draining as I didn’t feel as important (loved) as I wanted to be. For I found that in doing things to please others I lost myself, the opinions of people who truly matter to me was replaced with the desire to appear great in the eyes and minds of people I did not know.

The lesson Learnt

While I still maintain the desire to be important (loved) in all that I do, as it is the greatest urge in human nature and not even I can resist it, what has changed is the people whose eyes and minds I strive for that feeling of importance. Whose opinion matters most to me? The list is as follows: myself, my immediate family and close friends. They are the reason I do all that I do, the reason I strive to become the “ultimate” me.

The key: do not resist the urge to be important (loved) for it is in your nature. Instead strive to be important (loving) in the eyes and minds of the people who care most for you.

Why I Blog?

If you have ever been through any situation of significance in your life you may have came to the realization that communicating your problems or concerns with others removes/reduces a lot of the fear, confusion, frustration and hurt associated your situation. For this reason, I started this blog to communicate to others the lessons I have learnt and the lessons I am in the process of learning while in search of the person I ultimately want/will become. I hope that the stories/lessons I choose to share will inspire you to become the best person you can possible be. In return I hope to learn from your comments/insights on my postings. So, if you can identify with any of these lessons learnt, please feel free to comment and share your thoughts for it is always interest to hear the perspectives of others.